way to Oshodi this morning. At the park
this rough mean-looking conductor also
known as “agbero” in Yoruba was
screaming for passengers, his
vernacular oscillating between Yoruba
and pidgin English.
“Oshod! Oshod!” He shouted angrily as
I along with some other passengers
scuttled for seats. There was this
beautiful young lady who couldn’t
throw caution and decorum to the wind
but waited patiently until the bus was
almost filled. Then she pleaded to sit by
the agbero until somebody came down
then she would pay for a proper seat.
The agbero didn’t even look at her
pretty face, he hissed and shouted to
the driver to move that why didn’t she
rush when others were rushing. The girl
started pleading in Yoruba and clean
‘oyinbo’ english; “please, ejó, help me
out sir, I know you are a good man,
never mind all this shout you have been
shouting (people burst into laughter).
Let me sit by your side please”.
Finally with much squeezing of face the
agbero relented and she sat beside him.
It was a tight squeeze but she didn’t
complain but rather started praising the
agbero. He in turn started teasing her,
speaking (and sometimes spitting by
mistake) into her face but the girl never
looked away, she never let the smile
leave her face. He asked her where she
worked and she replied that she was a
student in the University of Lagos
(UNILAG) studying accounting. He
teased her in Yoruba about her
boyfriend and car (maybe asking why
her boyfriend didn’t drop her at her
destination…she laughed it off and
continued to gist with the guy in
Yoruba.
When she reached her junction the
agbero alighted the bus for her to come
down. She did and paid her transport
fare, then the agbero told her to give
him a peck on the cheek for being so
‘gentlemanly’. At this point some of us
became indignant, haba! He had been
teasing her since, he should let her go.
Another argument almost ensued
between the agbero and the
passengers although it was not as if the
agbero was really serious, he told her to
go. Then it happened! She jumped
forward and gave him a peck on the
cheek! We all shouted, the agbero was
quiet out of surprise. She then waved
bye and ran down to her street.
The driver and other people started to
hail the agbero, see hailing! The guy
was just forming boss, saying he knew
he was irresistible etc and others were
yabbing (taunting) him, some were
yabbing the girl and we moved on and
suddenly the bus was quiet, show over.
Then the agbero put his head down and
became uncharacteristically quiet. The
driver soon asked the guy why he
wasn’t calling out bus-stop abi the girl
don do am jazz (cast a spell on him). The
agbero said something in Yoruba I
didn’t get and then his voice became
emotional and believe it or not HE
STARTED CRYING. Others were now
consoling him in Yoruba. When I asked
what the problem was, the lady beside
me explained that the agbero said he
just realised he would never be able to
get a girl like that in his life because he’s
an uneducated bus conductor and she
was going to be a graduate. He was
weeping because he knew no girl of
her class might ever do to him what
that girl just did, to touch a dirty person
like himself; that the girl is nice and well
brought-up and if he had money he
would have chased after her. So the
passengers were consoling him in
Yoruba that he would go higher in life
and be able to marry a girl like that. He
should not cry because itwas not the
end of the road for him.
That really touched me.
For a moment in that agbero’s life, his
facade of a street thug fell away and he
was a vulnerable emotional aspiring
young man, just like everybody else.
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